Lyrics

The Porta-Potty Peeper
- Chris Ramey

© 2025 Ramey
Herban Insurgent Publishing LLC (ASCAP)

The porta-potty peeper is a peeping at your pooper
Your daily downward dogs have made your rear look super duper
I betcha never thought you'd have some company in there
Checking out your behind your ass your rump your derriere

You heard a sound from below that broke your concentration
Took a glance between your legs and thought about the implication
This stall is made for one you're the only one in here
Why do you feel you're not alone why do you feel so weird

A quick adjustment to your plan, that old familiar story
Came to shit and only farted now you're taking inventory
Stopped your pee wiped and got up nice and neat like nothing's wrong
Pulled up your yoga pants and tried to hide your purple thong

As soon as you got out you heard a flurry from the stall
A man dressed in a tent got out his ass began to haul
The Coleman flaps were covered in blue poop and blood and pee
Your mouth was hanging open as he fled from the scene

I bet you never thought that porta-potty'd be a winner
The loo looked safe to you but Luke wasn't a beginner
He just got bored with squinting through those tiny peeping holes
He'd drilled all over town to watch them Goddesses go

It's time to switch the sides, time to try his perspective
He'd tried to find his mate but his approach was ineffective
Always trying to get between her and the plastic toilet seat
She found his ways disgusting but he marched to his own beat

So he struck out on his own to find a path to meet the Goddess
With peeping holes round town he was the prince of peeping darkness
His eyes they were a hurt from all that time he knelt and watched
He hatched a broad daylight plan that he hoped he wouldn't botch

Snuck down the porta-potty hole snake sliding in the night
Meditated like a yogi in big blue box of shite
Oh yes he hit the jackpot there's a Goddess coming in
To bless him with the passing of last night's Whole Foods din-din

Well he coughed when she farted it was more than he could handle
Had a tight grip on his pee pee she had TP on her sandal
She peered through the seat to see if someone's there
He couldn't help but gasp and moan for a breath of fresh air

So out she went and up he came and cut himself again
Her gas had put a quick end to his excrement campaign
His game was getting stale he had to take it up a notch
As he ran he felt he could still smell her sweaty crotch

I bet you never thought that porta-potty'd be a winner
The loo looked safe to you but Luke wasn't a beginner
He just got bored with squinting through those tiny peeping holes
He'd drilled all over town to watch them Goddesses go
To watch them Goddesses go
He'd drilled all over town to watch

Them Goddesses go
Them Goddesses go
Them Goddesses go
You know they gotta pee
When them Goddesses go
Them Goddesses go
Them Goddesses go
You know I gotta see
When them Goddesses go
Them Goddesses go
Them Goddesses go
You know they gotta pee
When them Goddesses go
Them Goddesses go
Them Goddesses go
You know I gotta see

Them Goddesses go
Them Goddesses go
Them Goddesses go
You know they gotta pee
When them Goddesses go
Them Goddesses go
Them Goddesses go
You know I gotta see
When them Goddesses go
Them Goddesses go
Them Goddesses go
You know they gotta pee
When them Goddesses go
Them Goddesses go
Them Goddesses go
You know I gotta see
Them when they go